word

Ok, it's official. I miss Burlington. =(

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27752501/

(The downtown co-op they mention is where I used to work! woot!)

"he's just not that into you"

Points if you can name the source of that quote.

So, I have had my mind changed this morning. I am aware of the fact that I am a very stubborn person (but I would maintain, not-arrogantly, that this is just because I frequently have already thought well through whatever is being talked about...this is more of an affliction than something to be proud of), however, I also know that my mind is definitely changeable when someone makes a particularly good and articulate point. And I know that this is all a very genuine construct in my brain due to the rather marked feelings of happy and relief that arise when someone else makes a good point to change my mind. Sort of like that person is taking over the wheel for a moment in my continual quest to map and understand the world, and giving me a moment to rest.

This is a particularly good and articulate point about why being single is great. Hope you have some time to read, as it's seven freaking pages long. Actually, it's not just one point, but an article stuffed full of great points. Definitely worth a read. (Well, if you're single at least...)

With that little trinket of good thought having been delivered, I am now setting myself to the task of finishing my last grad school application. Adventure cannot wait around for accompanying gentlemen.

way to normal

"'Are you an introvert or an extrovert?' ... Fucking shit."
--lunch buddy on Thursday, describing himself emailing with potential lady friends


(DISCLAMIER: I fucking love Ben Folds. If you know me at all, you already are aware of this.)

How self-neglectful have I been, to have gone 3 months without checking out Ben Folds's latest album? Anyway, suffice it to say I am finally checking it out, and he's making me believe life is really all that worth living again, like usual. (At least if one owns a piano or has access to one in the woods...I am working on saving for one, for whatever space I will inhabit beginning next fall...) In conclusion: Ben Folds + Regina Spektor + piano = true love. And I'm not even a huge Regina Spektor fan.

This week for me was denser than the irrationals in the reals. (My little math joke. hah.) Work was crazy, but the great news there is that I am moving to a much sweeter desk as of Monday; I carted all my stuff to my new location at the end of the day today. As for my personal life (yes, I'm really beginning to have one of those again!), after tomorrow I will be done done done with working on my grad school applications. And then I will begin having a fun, restful existence again. I'm rather looking forward to it...after all, that is one of the perks of being a working stiff as opposed to a student--the relaxation factor.

I'm not sure if it's just heightened sensitivity due to the fact I am not in a relationship right now (albeit freshly at peace with the end of the last one), but it seems like the whole world is getting engaged or at least just plain in a relationship. Strangely enough, I didn't seem to notice this when I was still acutely in broken-heart pain, so I guess I'm doubtful of the single syndrome cause. I guess all the marriage proposals can at least be blamed on the holidays, perhaps.

Viewed from one angle, being single is rather freeing. And such freedom is even, might I say, really romantic in a way. Viewed from another, I still find myself longing for a relationship of some sort. Something easy and comfy...affectionate yet not too serious. At least not (serious) yet. Someday maybe. Damn you, contradictory emotions; always sneaking up and getting the best of me. The next place I live needs to be busy enough for me to not notice such things. At least if, no one notices me (or, deliberately chooses to un-notice me).

Well, I am getting my hair chopped off tomorrow. Needs to happen...it's getting too long. I've always wanted to grow it out really long, as I'm sure it would look super bad-ass with it being so curly, but every time it so much as gets down to my shoulders, it starts pissing me off and I itch to cut it. I'm bringing pictures of Carrie's hair from SATC season five and will say, "make my hair do something like this, please." We'll see how that turns out.



"So, I'll say something I should've said long ago,
You don't know me at all."
-- from the man who wields thirteenth chords like they was triads

CELEBRATE YOUR VEGETABLES!

Today at the office there was a rather heated debate on the social email list about vegetarianism. I kind of felt like throwing my computer across the room by the end of it. The meat-eaters side of the aisle didn't seem to get that vegetables are tasty, and were completely incredulous that veggie-broth based soup could be any good. They also made such silly claims as that eating meat is "natural". (I worked in a deli for almost a year. That shit is rarely natural, yo. So, I hope this person was limiting their comment to fresh steaks sliced right off the animal.) All this started by someone asking if anyone was interesting in doing a vegetarian soup swap at work a couple Mondays from now. One lady said she wasn't going to bother doing it, and would participate another time when chicken broth was allowed. What kind of wonky sense does that make?! Really...you aren't willing to try vegetarian soups made by the exact people that know how to use their veggies? My response was, "where's your sense of adventure?" and "don't think of vegetarian food as missing meat, but more as a proper celebration of vegetables." This shift of food-world-view focus seems to be something meat-eaters have an incredibly difficult time comprehending.

And now, for a turn on the topic.

So this week at work I'm responsible for training a new hire on our project. Turns out, his girlfriend recently quit being a vegetarian. I said, really?, why so? (This conversation occurred yesterday, well before today's veggie vs. meat office smack-down.) He said it was for health reasons, that she was getting sick rather frequently and didn't have enough energy. I said that one thing I'm determined to get better at as we start this new year is my nutrition. I don't get enough protein or iron (and I can really tell the lucky times that I do), and I need to start taking a multi-vitamin, which I have recently started doing. But I want to better educate myself about the various available plant proteins (other than my arch-nemesis, the evil soybean) and do a better job of getting a full spectrum of amino acids, as well as other nutrients, too. (Iron and B vitamins top the list.) So I sat down this eve with the intention of doing some online research. I was day-dreaming of one day having a huge kitchen filled with not just cookbooks, but also science-y nutrition books detailing the pros and cons of various foods and nutrients. (Dork-ery in the kitchen...what revelry that would be!)

I hopped on Google and was met with this. The quizzical stuff in the picture needs no intro.



There definitely not 5 times as many vegans as vegetarians. What this says to me, is two things:

1. Being a vegan is far more nutritionally tricky than being a vegetarian.

2. Vegetarians as a whole don't really take their nutrition very seriously, or as seriously as they should.


Is being a vegetarian a wise decision? I'd say a passionate "yes". But we'd do better to be wiser in it's practice.

(And it's also a damn tasty decision, too, just in case you were wondering.)

holla

All I have to say is, "duh":

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123119236117055127.html

What I find really interesting is the fact that "Mathematician" gets #1, while "Physicist" gets #13...maybe I'd rather end up in a math department after all...

on being the only female in a room full of males, pt. 2

I'm coming up for a quick breath of air while working on my next-to-last grad school application, and decided to write for a spell. (After all, I did say I'd have more to say on the previous post later...) Honestly this whole application process is a little overwhelming for me. Required financial and time investments aside, the part that is particularly unsettling is the gravity of it. I am basically saying to schools, "please let me come work for your Nobel laureate professors and with your super-fast computers...let me come study at your institution and then attempt to begin making my own mark on the field." I didn't really apply to any safety schools; not because I'm cocky, more because there just aren't really "safety schools" for theoretical physics. (I tried to find some that are doing research in what I'm interested in, I really did.) So my apps are a mix of reaches and middle-of-the-road picks. This has the resultant effect of making me fear I'm acting too big for my britches.

Recently, a new conversation partner has highlighted exactly the complex I seem to have with not feeling like I deserve anything, or put another way, with being afraid to ask the universe for things. Now, this is interesting since I've written in detail on this topic before, in my old, now-long-neglected other blog. (I plan on moving some old entries to this blog and just deleting the old one when I can find the time...) Basically, my point in that writing was that asking for things is a sign of respect towards one's self. People don't bother to give mathematics an honest try in school because "that's stuff for smart people, not me." I never thought I'd learn to use chopsticks, because that was something cosmopolitan/worldly people did, not some kid from the sticks like me. (I'm happy to report I was very wrong about the chopsticks.)

I recently read a quote somewhere that said something to the effect of, "treat people as they have the potential to be, not who they are." I think that's probably a pretty applicable statement for one's treatment towards one's self, as well. Whether or not he had ever heard of this quote, my math advisor at UVM was definitely living it. When he told me I should first try submitting the paper that came out of my independent study to Physical Review, I thought he was crazy. (The way I explain it to those unfamiliar with it is that Phys. Rev. is like the Yankees of physics journals.) "My paper's got a snowball's chance in hell of being accepted there," I thought. Evidently this paper was one tough snowball. See, that's the thing. I sprung for something (admittedly, after significant external encouragement) that I didn't think I or my work would be considered good enough for. And look what happened. So I guess, regarding the applications, I just decided to take a deep breath and go for it. I think I would have regretted doing it any differently.

As for the electronic smack-down the other day...I don't have much more specifically to say about it (but I do feel like this post was an exploration of somethings very similar). My mind brooded over it for the afternoon and then let it go, after remembering what may be my absolute favorite Eleanor Roosevelt quote (and she's got a lot of good ones!) In fact, I think this quote is rather applicable to the rest of my here-written concerns as well...


"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
--Eleanor Roosevelt

on being the only female in a room full of males, pt. 1

...and the only bachelor's degree in a room full of phds.

In a nutshell: it sucks. Anything you say is often screwed right out of the gate, at least for some pairs of ears. Luckily there is usually a good helping of enlightened pairs of ears as well, so sometimes a very decent idea presented by someone in my position can take off in a group discussion, by way of the help of said quasi-enlightened beings.

But when you are duking it out on a group-wide visible email thread with one such not-enlightened pair of ears (eyes?), you end up feeling pretty alone and self-esteem-bruised. At least until, some voices of reason write you personally and laud your grit.

Grumble. Time to go for a walk for lunch soon, I do declare.

More later.