spring cleaning

Just un-facebook-friended the other half of the most significant relationship in my life to date.

Kind of sad. Kind of necessary. Hurts but was the healthy choice.

In other news...all rejections from grad schools so far, save for the two applied math programs, still waiting to hear from those two. Things are not exactly looking up for me right now. Granted, the rejections were from physics programs, whereas I realize (but only realized halfway through the apps process...) that I'm a better fit for an applied math program...but who knows if such optimism is founded. Maybe I just suck.

The only thing that gets me up in the morning these days is that I have set a personal deadline of June 1 for me moving out of this stupid town I currently live in. Seeing as how I still have two schools left to hear from, I don't know where that will be to yet, but I am confident it will be somewhere better than this. Also, the not-knowing the details has not stopped me from already looking into summer sublets in the two prospective towns. Got a bunch of craig's list bookmarks, send out some emails, have already gotten some responses. Either town I'd be happy to live in for the summer if I don't get into either school; I would be living somewhere where I can find my happy while sorting out what the next phase of my life is going to be.

78 days. That's all I have left in this town. Better get moving.

the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny

To the dear, few readers of my little blog:

Sorry I've not been much for writing lately. The waiting to hear back from grad schools on my applications is really taking an emotional and mental toll on me. Don't worry, I'm not a total mess or anything...I'm just very spacey and drawn inward. So the free time which I spend on the internet has lately been spent perusing a message board forum for people in the exact same situation as me.

This evening, this video was shared with me, and I in turn wanted to share it with all of you. If you are in need of a good laugh, like I have been, then do give this a watch. Laughs guaranteed.

the good life

If you have spent much time with me at all, you've surely heard at one point, "I'll know I've made it in life when I have a place to live with a piano in it."

That having been said, I really enjoyed this article from today's nytimes.com. But perhaps what struck me most was the final paragraph:

"But he is not a butler," she said. "He is a guest." She explained that having houseguests was a way of life that Americans don't always understand. "I grew up in a situation where you would never ask guests when they would be leaving," she said. "In Poland we have an old saying, 'Guest at home, God at home.' "

One of the things I really miss about the northeast is the innate sense of community its people have. (And actually, I even missed it a little in Vermont...for all of its self-declared progressiveness, its hospitality facet of community-mindedness is a shade weaker than Maine's.) In the midwest, there is practically no "innate sense of community" whatsoever. Still, it sounds like Poland has us northeastern-ers even further beat still, in terms of community-sensitivity, and it sounds rather pleasant.

(Side note: I always wondered how Erdos could've actually lived just hopping from friend's house to friend's house...but I guess now I have my answer...)

i want my free time back...so that i can prepare for giving it all up again to more fun things

Spent a lot of the weekend doing work for work. Sigh.

So, instead of working until ungodly hours trying to fix problems created by other people on the project (I haven't even had time to fix MY OWN bugs lately!), I am drawing a line in the sand, and going to bed early for some reading.

Recently picked a book back up that I had started last summer: "Chaos" by James Gleick. It's a fun read, but just reminding me of the fact that I still haven't heard back from any grad schools yet and am obviously starting to freak out a little bit about it.

Universe-- you are on notice. If I don't get an acceptance letter this week (even if only one of those infamous NYU "oh you're accepted but we can't fund you" bullshit acceptances), bad things will happen. I may just need to stomp on a bug or something, to feel like I'm getting back at you, but you know what they say about a lady scorned...

Just saying. Don't fuck with me, universe.