spring cleaning

Just un-facebook-friended the other half of the most significant relationship in my life to date.

Kind of sad. Kind of necessary. Hurts but was the healthy choice.

In other news...all rejections from grad schools so far, save for the two applied math programs, still waiting to hear from those two. Things are not exactly looking up for me right now. Granted, the rejections were from physics programs, whereas I realize (but only realized halfway through the apps process...) that I'm a better fit for an applied math program...but who knows if such optimism is founded. Maybe I just suck.

The only thing that gets me up in the morning these days is that I have set a personal deadline of June 1 for me moving out of this stupid town I currently live in. Seeing as how I still have two schools left to hear from, I don't know where that will be to yet, but I am confident it will be somewhere better than this. Also, the not-knowing the details has not stopped me from already looking into summer sublets in the two prospective towns. Got a bunch of craig's list bookmarks, send out some emails, have already gotten some responses. Either town I'd be happy to live in for the summer if I don't get into either school; I would be living somewhere where I can find my happy while sorting out what the next phase of my life is going to be.

78 days. That's all I have left in this town. Better get moving.

the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny

To the dear, few readers of my little blog:

Sorry I've not been much for writing lately. The waiting to hear back from grad schools on my applications is really taking an emotional and mental toll on me. Don't worry, I'm not a total mess or anything...I'm just very spacey and drawn inward. So the free time which I spend on the internet has lately been spent perusing a message board forum for people in the exact same situation as me.

This evening, this video was shared with me, and I in turn wanted to share it with all of you. If you are in need of a good laugh, like I have been, then do give this a watch. Laughs guaranteed.

the good life

If you have spent much time with me at all, you've surely heard at one point, "I'll know I've made it in life when I have a place to live with a piano in it."

That having been said, I really enjoyed this article from today's nytimes.com. But perhaps what struck me most was the final paragraph:

"But he is not a butler," she said. "He is a guest." She explained that having houseguests was a way of life that Americans don't always understand. "I grew up in a situation where you would never ask guests when they would be leaving," she said. "In Poland we have an old saying, 'Guest at home, God at home.' "

One of the things I really miss about the northeast is the innate sense of community its people have. (And actually, I even missed it a little in Vermont...for all of its self-declared progressiveness, its hospitality facet of community-mindedness is a shade weaker than Maine's.) In the midwest, there is practically no "innate sense of community" whatsoever. Still, it sounds like Poland has us northeastern-ers even further beat still, in terms of community-sensitivity, and it sounds rather pleasant.

(Side note: I always wondered how Erdos could've actually lived just hopping from friend's house to friend's house...but I guess now I have my answer...)

i want my free time back...so that i can prepare for giving it all up again to more fun things

Spent a lot of the weekend doing work for work. Sigh.

So, instead of working until ungodly hours trying to fix problems created by other people on the project (I haven't even had time to fix MY OWN bugs lately!), I am drawing a line in the sand, and going to bed early for some reading.

Recently picked a book back up that I had started last summer: "Chaos" by James Gleick. It's a fun read, but just reminding me of the fact that I still haven't heard back from any grad schools yet and am obviously starting to freak out a little bit about it.

Universe-- you are on notice. If I don't get an acceptance letter this week (even if only one of those infamous NYU "oh you're accepted but we can't fund you" bullshit acceptances), bad things will happen. I may just need to stomp on a bug or something, to feel like I'm getting back at you, but you know what they say about a lady scorned...

Just saying. Don't fuck with me, universe.

soul (sole?) education

Got back into running today. Was a pretty pansy run, but one has to start somewhere. A very cheerful FedEx lady delivered my running shoes this morning, and I decided it would be a travesty if I didn't take them for an inaugural run today.

Excuse overcome today: "it's too late in the day". Sure, it was 6pm and more or less dark outside, but half of the park near my apartment is lit--so instead of loops around the pond, I just ran "c"s. Plus, the weather was remarkably summer-like, with a breeze and everything...this is such a strange land.

Anyway, now, I'm going to try and get something done for work before I go to bed. sigh.

ode to a pair of running shoes

I used to have an awesome pair of running shoes when living in Burlington. Awesome does not even begin to do justice...I mean, these were the sort of magical running shoes that could inspire epic poetry and paeans of timeless caliber. (My knees have never been so happy in a pair of shoes--ever.) I ran these shoes until they wore out, and then they eventually died a fantastic mud puddle death. (I mean, why not go for a mud puddle run when your shoes are done for anyway? Might as well go out in a blaze of fun.)

Well I set myself to the semi-indulgent task of buying a new pair of running shoes this afternoon. I did some searching online...wanted to see what there might be out there by this same company that made my once-upon-a-time dream shoes. Turns out--they still have some of the same model of shoe, and they're trying to get rid of them, as they're now discontinuing the line!!



Guess who's getting a sweet new pair of these puppies delivered to her doorstep this week...

maybe tuesday will be my good news day

So. A few thousand fellow dorks and I across this country (and, the world) are currently sitting on the edges of our seats, repeatedly refreshing our email inboxes. It's decision time.

The Grad Cafe has a database of user-submitted decision stats. You can sort the data by program, school, date, etc. It shows what decision a person received, and how they received it (email, postal, phone), as well as whether they're American or from abroad. There is a place to write comments, too, so you can say something like, "accepted but w/o funding". (No funding is basically a rejection...and, as it turns out, NYU mathematics is notorious for doing this...and yes, I applied there, well before I found out about this site. Damn it.)

The other cool thing is that you can look at the years previous (they've had this database up for three or four "seasons" now), and see when the schools you've applied to usually start sending out their decisions. For UMCP, the school I think I have the best shot at, it looks like they usually send out their first round offers any day now. So, this will be a weekend of anticipation for me, I imagine.

Anyway, usually these boards are alternately filled with woeful rejection and joyful victory. But sometimes you get people with their heads up their own asses writing plain stupid stuff. But also sometimes, they get put in their place.



In other news, it looks like Cornell sent out their decisions today; as they pretty much dominated the math board today. Not a whole lot of activity yet from any of the schools I applied to; a couple early Columbia (physics) and NYU (math) admits. (Although as I mentioned earlier, NYU doesn't really offer funding for many people other than their first picks, so they may be a moot point for me by now...who knows.) I just need one "yes" and I'm good to go...